Spokenword

Joshua Scribe Watkis

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Love Me Baby

Baby I want you to love me to pieces.
Love me with purest bliss into reckless abandon.
Love me until we are lost in the sea of our sheets, sinking deeper than the tombs of sinking Titanics.
I want you to purge me of my lust as I sink into you.
As my fingers bury themselves in your hair and our bodies collide like blazing meteorites striking the earth, I want you to help me forget myself.
When my teeth sink into your flesh and you sigh into my atmosphere let me inhale you, your breath a hallucinogen ridding me of my reality.
When we kiss, I want you to burn passionately for me.
Scald my tongue like hot tea, raze the roof of my mouth, scorch all trace and ability to taste, leave my lips ashen and charred.
Leave the landscape of my back, leave it bloody and broken, war torn at your fingertips, blur the line between pleasure and pain I don’t want to know the difference anymore.
Be my cure and my cancer, be my double edged sword.
Be my morphine, force me to fiend and then go through withdrawal so intense that overdosing seems safer, erase me.
You’ll notice I refuse to look backwards.
I try not to think of my old innocence, because you can only see the past through rear view mirrors and I forget every time that things are always closer than they appear
.
And my memories of the sunny day my innocence was stolen under the shadow of the cottage porch rise out of the haze and dance to the rhythm to the tune of today’s sins.
So I want you to love me to pieces.
Love me into oblivion.
Love me into the aching nothingness that comes from being everything you promised yourself would never be.
Love me until I am the black hole my star like soul collapsed into.
e will bloom into a beautiful supernova before I do.
Love me then.
And when we are done, when I have poured my body and soul out to you.
When you have had your fill and been satisfied… run.
Run as far and as fast as you can, leaving behind cartoon dust clouds, one to cover up memory, one you can remember with a slight chill down your spine and the wisp of a smile because if you stay, you will be stranded with this disaster.
Left with a man who has no idea how to love another.
A man broken by another’s broken understanding of what it means to be loved.
Living with your touch as my drug is self – destruction, waking up each morning knowing I have only betrayed myself.
But to live without you is to be alone with the memories of destructive love being given to me.
And baby I’m sorry, but I just can’t do that.

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