{"id":4994,"date":"2023-09-04T17:36:35","date_gmt":"2023-09-04T17:36:35","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.mtls.ca\/issue28\/?p=4994"},"modified":"2026-01-19T01:01:21","modified_gmt":"2026-01-19T01:01:21","slug":"jeevan-bhagwat","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.mtls.ca\/issue28\/jeevan-bhagwat\/","title":{"rendered":"Jeevan Bhagwat"},"content":{"rendered":"<h3>Alien Invasion&nbsp;<\/h3>\n<p>Uncle Sam is afraid of aliens,<br \/>\nwants to keep them out of his backyard<br \/>\nso he builds a great fence<br \/>\nas big and tall as his domestic fears<br \/>\nto stop their insidious invasion.<\/p>\n<p>The last thing that Uncle Sam wants<br \/>\nis to see a steady stream of aliens<br \/>\nwalking down the Extraterrestrial Highway<br \/>\nto Dreamland, US.A.<br \/>\nin search of a better future.<\/p>\n<p>To prevent this<br \/>\nhe pours unspecified amounts of money<br \/>\ninto Black Ops programs<br \/>\nto keep the black ones out,<br \/>\nand the brown ones out,<br \/>\nand the yellow and red ones out.<\/p>\n<p>Uncle Sam will not tolerate<br \/>\na bunch of UFO\u2019s<br \/>\nor, unidentified fleeing others<br \/>\npenetrating his airspace,<br \/>\nsea space, land space, or even outer space<br \/>\nin their quest to overrun him<br \/>\nand subjugate Americans<br \/>\nto their foreign agenda.<\/p>\n<p>No<br \/>\nnot under his watch,<br \/>\nnot while he can still hoist<br \/>\nthe red, white, and blue<br \/>\nover Fortress Free World<br \/>\nand salute her stars and stripes.<br \/>\nDamn the aliens!<\/p>\n<p>And God bless Uncle Sam.<\/p>\n<h3>A Great Turning<\/h3>\n<p>If we keep going like this<br \/>\nremaining on the same trajectory,<br \/>\nsooner, rather than later<br \/>\nwe\u2019ll hit rock bottom,<br \/>\nonly there will be no rock<br \/>\nno stone, no earth<br \/>\nno nothing beneath us,<br \/>\njust a disembodied memory<br \/>\nof the gravity of being,<br \/>\nof what it was like<br \/>\nto inhabit something.<\/p>\n<p>Glaciers calve,<br \/>\nforests burn,<br \/>\nthermometers keep on sweating;<br \/>\nthe planet pleads for<br \/>\na great turning,<br \/>\na metamorphosis of heart and mind.<\/p>\n<p>In a future without dreams,<br \/>\nfraught with uncertainty,<br \/>\nthere are no guarantees<br \/>\nthe sun will rise<br \/>\nfor succeeding generations,<\/p>\n<p>or that the wind will remember<br \/>\nour song.<\/p>\n<h3>Narcissus Discovers Social Media&nbsp;<\/h3>\n<p>Satisfied with his image<br \/>\nin a Grecian stream,<br \/>\nNarcissus left his reflection behind,<br \/>\ntaking with him only<br \/>\nhis vanity.<\/p>\n<p>In a Starbucks caf\u00e9 on College Street<br \/>\nhe sits down at a computer<br \/>\nand Googles his name,<br \/>\nnever once getting tired of himself.<\/p>\n<p>Later, he discovers social media<br \/>\ngets hooked and<br \/>\nopens a Facebook account,<br \/>\nexpecting everyone to<br \/>\ninstantly like him.<\/p>\n<p>That night, he composed his first tweet<br \/>\nI\u2019m beautiful, therefore I am;<br \/>\nbuys a smartphone and takes a selfie<br \/>\nbefore posting it on Instagram.<\/p>\n<p>If his ego doesn\u2019t give way<br \/>\nto exhaustion,<br \/>\nhe\u2019ll turn on a nightlight<br \/>\nstrike a pose<br \/>\nand by morning,<br \/>\nPin himself.<\/p>\n<h3>Discussing Gravity in a Bar one Night<\/h3>\n<p>I once met an old man in a bar<br \/>\nsmoking a cheap, Cuban cigar<br \/>\nwith lips like a puffer fish<br \/>\nwho said to me:<\/p>\n<p>Son, don\u2019t concern yourself<br \/>\nwith the problems of the world,<br \/>\nfor they will weigh you down<br \/>\ninto a bottomless black hole<br \/>\nfrom which not even your imagination<br \/>\ncan escape.<\/p>\n<p>We spoke for a while<br \/>\nand two Jack Daniels later,<br \/>\nhe flashed a greasy grin<br \/>\nand coughed up this advice:<\/p>\n<p>If you want to truly understand<br \/>\nthe crux of the matter,<br \/>\ndon\u2019t waste your time<br \/>\nwith Newtonian laws<br \/>\nor Einstein\u2019s physics;<br \/>\njust ask any middle aged woman<br \/>\nand she will tell you<br \/>\nin a sinking tone<br \/>\nthat nothing makes her confidence sag<br \/>\nquite like<br \/>\ng<br \/>\nr<br \/>\na<br \/>\nv<br \/>\ni<br \/>\nt<br \/>\ny<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Alien Invasion&nbsp; Uncle Sam is afraid of aliens, wants to keep them out of his backyard so he builds a great fence as big and tall as his domestic fears to stop their insidious invasion. The last thing that Uncle Sam wants is to see a steady stream of aliens walking down the Extraterrestrial Highway to Dreamland, US.A. in search&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":5334,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4994","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-poetry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.mtls.ca\/issue28\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4994","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.mtls.ca\/issue28\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.mtls.ca\/issue28\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mtls.ca\/issue28\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mtls.ca\/issue28\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4994"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/www.mtls.ca\/issue28\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4994\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5335,"href":"https:\/\/www.mtls.ca\/issue28\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4994\/revisions\/5335"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mtls.ca\/issue28\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/5334"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.mtls.ca\/issue28\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4994"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mtls.ca\/issue28\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4994"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mtls.ca\/issue28\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4994"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}