\nthis season is ideal for dragons
\nas they blend in well with the leaves\u2026
\nred and gold,
\npatterned scales disappear into the canopy
\nlike magic
\n(though they in fact
\nreserve their magicks
\nto other warming purposes
\nwhen the weather turns colder).<\/p>\n
they were made of dreams,
\nwishes and vicarious fears
\nin an earlier time,
\njust like our gods…
\nalthough we did not burden them
\nwith our cries, prayers and blame,
\ndid not demand that they be better than us
\nor that they should make us better
\nthan our natures would allow<\/p>\n
they are smaller now,
\ndiminished in size,
\navarice and fire,
\nthey no longer hoard gold or silver,
\nfafnir\u2019s curse diluted with the generations,
\nthey are satisfied with chestnuts and acorns,
\nlining their dens for the brief awakenings during
\nthe annual winter hibernation.
\nthey leave avarice
\nto their distant and foolish cousins;
\nman.<\/p>\n
they need only sunny days
\nto warm themselves
\nand moonlight
\nto charge their magicks
\nto get through the long nights of winter.<\/p>\n
what is an atheist to do with doubt?<\/p>\n
not in the validity of science
\nor the superstitions in the world
\nbut in myself?<\/p>\n
it is not even my faith that has lapsed
\nbut my curiosity<\/p>\n
questions are our prayers.
\ni have become indifferent, complacent
\nand feel the wash of boredom,
\nof certainty washing in like a tide
\nmaking me into a simple believer of science;
\nas subject to weakness of faith
\nas a religious robot.<\/p>\n
then i see you,
\nand i feel the need to explore belief;
\nwhat is love and am i feeling something like that,
\nhere
\nor am i simply in a passing lust?
\nit is a lovely sensation of doubt,
\ntriggering questions again.
\nthe wheels are turning
\nthe poetry flows
\nthe wheels are turning
\njust as the blood is flowing
\nand i wait to see the light in your eyes.
\nsee if it turns on,
\nmaybe it\u2019s real, for me,
\nand maybe for you, too.
\nall this doubt,
\nfeels frightening, and delicious.
\ni am still an atheist for god,
\nbut seeing you, i am coming to believe
\nin angels again\u2026<\/p>\n
shouting at the stars
\nwill not make them mine.
\nwishing upon them
\nor meandering after them
\nas guides
\nis the best that i can do.
\nmaybe just maybe
\ni could catch a falling one,
\ndiscover it was not a true fiery stellar body,
\nbut something easier to touch,
\nto hold.
\ncherish them all,
\nand love where i can,
\nhow i can,
\nas i can…<\/p>\n
you have a light that shines,
\na magnetic field that draws
\nbut holds at a distance,
\na curious and powerful motivator\u2026<\/p>\n
you are delight personified…
\nnot innocent but not broken.
\nyou have a resilience,
\na strength and truth of self
\nthat sustains and carries you.
\nyou seem to heal free of scars.
\nif i could protect you from injuries
\n(of the heart, of the body)
\ni would, but you are on your own path.
\ni can but sprinkle rose petals before you…
\ni can see and feel your delight,
\nyour joy,
\nyour tangles of intent and adventure,
\nand love you for them.<\/p>\n
remembering cool evening breezes,
\npicking berries in the field for pies
\nor in brambles for jams and jellies.
\nas a hobbit lad i could walk under
\nthe thorny raspberry
\nand blackberry bushes,
\nreaching up for easier pickings.
\nolder siblings getting scratched up,
\ncuriously calling me a wimp,
\nfor doing it differently to avoid bloodshed.
\nand yes, more passive.
\nbut one element to my nature
\nwas encountering a rabbit, squirrel
\nor deer, and it not flee,
\nat peace with my vibe.
\nyears later after finally a normal sized man
\n(hairy miracle of puberty
\nthough not a scottish giant
\nlike my direct forebears
\nor nephews)
\ni came across a fox family at play.
\nthey did not mind me watching their kits,
\ntumbling and chewing ears
\nas papa brings home something
\nsmaller and grey
\nto nosh on.
\nas it was not their nature to answer
\ni did not call out.
\ni later found out some coworkers
\nhad witnessed this.
\nit felt wrong to discuss it
\nin plain language,
\nso i waved them off.
\nsomeday maybe a poem.
\nhere<\/p>\n
in those lost days of found memory
\ni had a favourite tree to climb
\nand positioned myself,
\nimagining i was invisible
\n(as indeed on occasion i was)
\n(cont)
\nbut never out of sight of the house.
\nbears and other things in the woods,
\n\u2026for real\u2026
\nbut i was poorly coordinated
\nand yet intelligent enough to know
\nthat adventures likely to injure
\nshould be within earshot
\nif not actual direct line of sight\u2026<\/p>\n
under golden leaves,
\nin a glowing shadow
\nlike a place out of faerie,
\nin between chores
\nand not a cartoon morning
\n(yes, pre-cable, let alone internet)
\nlistening to birdsong
\nand trying to hear songs in memory.
\na child in love with the sound
\nof karen carpenter,
\nand fearful he\u2019d never
\nhear the beatles again
\nbecause people said they\u2019d broken up.
\ndid not understand the process of radio or music,
\nhumming \u201chere comes the sun\u201d
\nbut knew trees and how sunlight fed trees
\nand the veinous leaves, and sap,
\nand the green energy (choryphyl)\u2026<\/p>\n
i miss being small in that wide world,
\nand i miss how alive i felt,
\nhow connected,
\nand how they missed me,
\ncalling my name
\nif i fell asleep in the drowsy heat
\n\u2026the cricket drone soothing,
\nand soporific dry grass smell
\nfrom the edge of the blueberry ground\u2026
\na city mouse now,
\ni miss being
\na country mouse\u2026<\/p>\n
these midnight boats
\ntrade in exotic cargo
\nboth rare and valuable;
\ndreams from youth
\nand enough desire
\nto make them real.
\nfever dreams contained
\nlike rare opium
\nand able to debilitate
\nshould one indulge too much
\nwhile lying about, inert.<\/p>\n
one needs to take action
\nnavigate by the starlight
\nof your eyes;
\nthe morningstar in the east
\nas guide,
\ndrop anchor when it fades
\ninto the light\u2026<\/p>\n
until evening twilight,
\nweigh anchor
\nas again it presents itself.<\/p>\n
tacking slowly through winds
\nbut with purpose,
\nseeking safe harbour
\nby your side.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
autumn dragons this season is ideal for dragons as they blend in well with the leaves\u2026 red and gold, patterned scales disappear into the canopy like magic (though they in fact reserve their magicks to other warming purposes when the weather turns colder). they were made of dreams, wishes and vicarious fears in an earlier time, just like our…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":5338,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3760","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-poetry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.mtls.ca\/issue28\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3760","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.mtls.ca\/issue28\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.mtls.ca\/issue28\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mtls.ca\/issue28\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mtls.ca\/issue28\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3760"}],"version-history":[{"count":16,"href":"https:\/\/www.mtls.ca\/issue28\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3760\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5340,"href":"https:\/\/www.mtls.ca\/issue28\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3760\/revisions\/5340"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mtls.ca\/issue28\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/5338"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.mtls.ca\/issue28\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3760"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mtls.ca\/issue28\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3760"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mtls.ca\/issue28\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3760"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}