{"id":3760,"date":"2019-09-03T12:40:10","date_gmt":"2019-09-03T12:40:10","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.mtls.ca\/issue24\/?p=3760"},"modified":"2021-11-13T17:33:36","modified_gmt":"2021-11-13T17:33:36","slug":"ajibola-tolase","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.mtls.ca\/issue24\/ajibola-tolase\/","title":{"rendered":"Ajibola Tolase"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<h3>Upon meeting a Girl in Baga<\/h3>\n<p>You are the relic of a city.<br \/>\nI learnt the history of your body<br \/>\nthreading the city borders.<\/p>\n<p>You say stories are what we make of living,<br \/>\nI found yours in the language of fire.<\/p>\n<p>In your stories, there are so many ways to kill a girl,<br \/>\nyou mentioned salt on your skin<br \/>\nand how you were jihadi roast.<\/p>\n<p>There are lessons only fire may teach:<br \/>\nwe too, like some stones,<br \/>\nmay burn our sins to be jewels.<\/p>\n<p>I dream of those who fled the inferno<br \/>\nbearing the weight of night.<\/p>\n<p>Unable to speak, they hold water<br \/>\nin their mouths in an attempt<br \/>\nto dissolve the language on their tongues.<\/p>\n<p>In consciousness they are not part of us,<br \/>\nwe are numbers, you say,<br \/>\nand the words become a bird of flight. Near vision<\/p>\n<p>a bird perches on a twig and you claim its sorrow<br \/>\nknowing its home held the fire that burnt yours.<\/p>\n<p>You open your palm before the bird<br \/>\nas if to give it its song. I ask,<br \/>\nwhere shall we go?<\/p>\n<p>The bird knows, you say,<br \/>\nthe sky has abandoned all its colours<br \/>\nthat it may have us.<\/p>\n<h3>The argot of Grief&nbsp;<\/h3>\n<p>The girls sat in the truck with their fears<br \/>\nclutched to their chests. They adopted silence<\/p>\n<p>as though it were the language of sacrificial lambs.<br \/>\nThey heard the rafters crack from fire, they watched<\/p>\n<p>the matron\u2019s body wriggle as though to object to dying<br \/>\nafter her neck was slit. The new master ordered the truck to move.<\/p>\n<p>They turned into the dark. The first girl who spoke<br \/>\nasked Alimatu what silence meant in her language.<\/p>\n<p>Alimatu\u2019s silence is the language of her brother<br \/>\nwho died at the polls. It\u2019s their argot of grief.<\/p>\n<p>Her mother will learn it.<br \/>\nShe will teach it to other mothers,<\/p>\n<p>but now they wait. They wait<br \/>\nfor the truck to come to rest.<\/p>\n<h3>Homecoming<\/h3>\n<p>The next passenger isn\u2019t much of a talker,<br \/>\nshe has a finger trapped between a book.<br \/>\nNo doubt she\u2019s had more education than I got in the army.<br \/>\nIn a mix of Gamai and barrack pidgin I tell a story<br \/>\nin which I put Bensil\u2019s intestine back into the hollow of his stomach,<br \/>\nthe sun caught in his flinching eyes. I lean back into my seat,<br \/>\nAsa\u2019s Fire on the mountain comes on radio, the next passenger sings along:<br \/>\nI see an army of a soldier man\/ marching across the street.<br \/>\nI have seen it too, Post-Election Tudun Wada<br \/>\nbullets\u2019 tips prodded a boy\u2019s ribcage,<br \/>\ndeflated his lungs and his balloons.<br \/>\nHer voice breaks: there will be nowhere for us to go.<br \/>\nI tell her what I remember of the Yelwa we are approaching,<br \/>\nI tell her about the green of her gardens that\u2019s home to birds.<br \/>\nI tell her of butterflies and milkweeds, the red breasts of robins.<br \/>\nI tell her of my joy in the seasons of rain<br \/>\nwhen the geese have arrived with their silent white peace.<br \/>\nBefore I settled into the story, she says there\u2019s been two elections.<\/p>\n<h3>In Westgate&nbsp;<\/h3>\n<p><em>for Kofi Awonoor<\/em><br \/>\n<em>and when my father fell to death<\/em><br \/>\n<em>a field dried out, a sparrow fled<\/em><br \/>\n\u2014Adonis<br \/>\n<em>I imagine Kofi teaching a poetry class<\/em><br \/>\n<em>before he gave his name to a vocabulary of loss.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>He says Begin with things we fail to remember<br \/>\nthe book shelves and their galaxy of dust,<\/p>\n<p>the red stilettos a child dreams to return in.<br \/>\nI have come here not knowing what to find.<\/p>\n<p>The little class dismisses. I am awed by the frame<br \/>\nof this moment holding me and the stars as witness<\/p>\n<p>as Kofi slips into silence<br \/>\nas though it were a kind of prayer,<\/p>\n<p>perhaps, here is where he found the language<br \/>\nto negotiate his loss. I imagine now<\/p>\n<p>how Kofi had exploded into tiny bits of stars.<br \/>\nWhat do I know of travelers who go in bits?<\/p>\n<p>Perhaps this is how you test the waters,<br \/>\nan arm here, a foot there. Kofi,<\/p>\n<p>who will receive you at the station?<br \/>\nwho will share your sorrow<\/p>\n<p>except the dust you have become?<br \/>\nEven the birds have flown, nothing lives here<br \/>\nonly memory.<\/p>\n<h3>Waiting<\/h3>\n<p>In Libya, they wait in the belly of a boat<br \/>\nso dark they are tempted to believe<\/p>\n<p>this is the longest night. They wait<br \/>\nfor the vessel to take them to the south coast<\/p>\n<p>of Spain where they will be games<br \/>\nfor border patrol officers. There, Hugo<\/p>\n<p>waits. He says Javier, two bottles of cognac<br \/>\nyou don\u2019t hit ten niggers in twelve shots.<\/p>\n<p>They wait. Outside the boat, trade negotiations<br \/>\nhold. They sing the psalms they\u2019ve brought from<\/p>\n<p>southern Nigeria. A man stops to promise himself<br \/>\nto reach London, another sister speaks to her body.<\/p>\n<p>She tells it to hold for Black Sisters\u2019 Street in Brussels.<br \/>\nThey won\u2019t know they are captives yet.<\/p>\n<p>Someone suggests they pray the boat moves,<br \/>\nthey join their hands, shut their eyes and wait.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&nbsp; Upon meeting a Girl in Baga You are the relic of a city. I learnt the history of your body threading the city borders. You say stories are what we make of living, I found yours in the language of fire. In your stories, there are so many ways to kill a girl, you mentioned salt on your skin&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":3775,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3760","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-poetry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.mtls.ca\/issue24\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3760","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.mtls.ca\/issue24\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.mtls.ca\/issue24\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mtls.ca\/issue24\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mtls.ca\/issue24\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3760"}],"version-history":[{"count":8,"href":"https:\/\/www.mtls.ca\/issue24\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3760\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4028,"href":"https:\/\/www.mtls.ca\/issue24\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3760\/revisions\/4028"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mtls.ca\/issue24\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3775"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.mtls.ca\/issue24\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3760"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mtls.ca\/issue24\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3760"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mtls.ca\/issue24\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3760"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}