Not only does she take Chudi’s wonder drug<\/i> in desperation to cure her obesity, she also resolves to coke <\/i>and molly,<\/i> and lands in a psycho ward. Apart from being overweight, she is bullied at school. She resumes classes to the harsh reality of offensive words scribbled on her desk, insults which transcend playful torments, restroom lock-ins<\/span>. <\/span><\/p>\n She dies in the hands of her victimizers every day\u2014thinks of fighting back\u2014thinks of shooting sprees and whatnots. She justifies her reticence from violence with a crucial conviction: school shooters are usually bullies or victims of bullying. “Some people actually learn psychopathy,<\/i>” she says to herself as thoughts of guns and blood flash through her mind. <\/span><\/p>\n But again\u2014she considers the consequences and restrains herself from decadence\u2014 mass murders are more often than not accompanied by the annihilation of their perpetrators. She guts up and speaks to her teacher\u2014 she doesn’t want jail timeand shedoesn’t want to be a statistic. After she discusses with him, hestorms into her classroom in defiance, rebukes her classmates, insists they all apologize to her individually. Some students snicker still. One of them says he’ll rather put a knife to his throat than apologize to a fat idiot. She\u2019s not surprised\u2014 the rite of apologies brings an imposterto light. She looks away from him as she’s not the talk back type, fumbles with the pen in her hand. Her eyes meet the teacher’s who’s looking on from a corner. He doesn’t notice the drama. It is brief and quite civilized. His staged apologies do nothing for her, she otherwise, becomes suicidal, until Chudi comes along.<\/span><\/p>\n Chudi. He\u2019s as charming as he\u2019s smooth. His easy smile and good looks stay long with her after their first hellos. When she opened the front door to let them in (her cousin and his neighbor, Chudi), his strong perfume rushes at her in wild resonance. It consumes her <\/span>with a whim. She is startled when he pulls her for a hug, embarrassing heras she’s meeting him for the first time. She doesn\u2019t know of any good-looking guy that likes fat girls. Shelooks away, confused. <\/span><\/p>\n He later walks into the kitchen where she’s doing the dishes and asks her for some water in a fake American accent. As she hands the glass of water to him, her eye catches a Cupid tattoo on his left arm. He winks at her and downs his water<\/span>\u2014watches as she fumbles with the runny tap. Her body is stocky and firm, she has big brown eyes, a round, pretty face, a wide and protruding tummy, and very thick arms. <\/span><\/p>\n He smiles.<\/span><\/p>\n “You should try ice<\/i><\/span>\u2014 you know\u2014 it\u2019s the street name for methamphetamine,” he says, leaning towards her. “It’s an appetite suppressant\u2014 one of my guys uses it for weight loss\u2014you\u2019ll be a freaking size zero in no time.” <\/span><\/p>\n She says nothing, looks away. <\/span><\/p>\n \u201cCome on<\/span>\u2014you can trust me\u2014 me and you we’re like cousins now.\u201d She steals a look at him and he pulls her in another embrace. This time she\u2019s more than willing. “People do stuff to get stuff,” he adds.<\/span><\/p>\n She lay her head on his chest and closes her eyes as she nurtures a whimsy about him, their hearts beating interchangeably.<\/span><\/p>\n He’s been calling her Ice baby<\/i> since she started taking his wonder drug<\/span>. They are now friends with benefits <\/i>and party monsters<\/i>. They go partying with a bunch of reckless kids, smoke ice<\/i> and other abominable things. After partying, they go clubbing, spend like monarchs. He says he\u2019s got some money stuffed away. \u201cWe ain\u2019t broke kids,\u201d he says, smiling. <\/span><\/p>\n She doesn\u2019t question him\u2014 Chudi can do no wrong. He solved the only problem bothering her and she\u2019s grateful to him even though she suffers the consequences of her indulgences. When she tells him about the side effects of his wonder drug, he tells her he can fix it, small problem\u2014 but he can’t\u2014 not entirely tho\u2019.<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cY<\/span>eah, I can fix it, but it\u2019s nothing if you don\u2019t focus on it. It\u2019s just ammonia in your sweat.I\u2019ll give you some nice perfumes to cover up. Everybody is hiding something yeah,\u201d he says, taking her hand. <\/span><\/p>\n \u201cBut my parents will become suspicious,\u201d she says looking away from him. <\/span><\/p>\n \u201cForget them\u2014 set them straight\u2014 weren\u2019t they making fun of you when you were overweight? You don\u2019t owe them anything!\u201d He says kicking the air. \u201cOkay I\u2019m sorry. I didn\u2019t mean to be disrespectful\u2014but youknow I suck at sucking up. However, they\u2019re just speculating, they don\u2019t know for sure yeah?\u201d He asks, touching her face. <\/span><\/p>\n Chudi doesn\u2019t give a hoot what anybody could possibly think about her doping.He thinks ice <\/i>is everything she needs to stop her victimizers, even though her family members are beginning to notice her fallouts. Several people use hard drugs to cure their illnesses, become junkies and abusive due to impaired judgement, die from overdose. As morphine cures cough and body pain; cocaine, cold, headache, neuralgia and nervousness. Hitler\u2019s physician allegedly injected him with high doses of cocaine and eukodal to cure his ear problem. It is said to be the reason for his alertness, and near success of conquering the world. Also, Nazi Germany troops turned to Pervitin and a cocaine chewing gum, which enabled them to advance in battle without the fear of death and fatigue. Oftentimes, hard drugs are used as a means of temporary escape from the psychological disturbance that bullying affords: Marilyn Monroe turned to barbiturates and amphetamines to cure insomnia arising from her bullying experiences in Hollywood, and dies from overdose. <\/span><\/p>\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/www.mtls.ca\/issue23\/files\/2016\/07\/leave-image-1.png\")
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