Writings / Creative Non-Fiction: Isme Bennie

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Moving On

I was never active politically as a student or in my early working years in South Africa. Like my parents, I was respectful of servants and black helpers generally, but any commitment to anti-apartheid stopped there.

After working as a librarian for a few years, I saved up enough money for a one-way trip to London, I was not politically motivated, as were so many white South Africans at that time, who could not live with the inequalities of a society divided along racial lines. My reasons for leaving were mixed. Yes, I was aware of the government policies towards blacks and to those fighting apartheid and I was restless and dissatisfied without knowing why. I was unhappy in my personal relationships and I somehow knew there was another world out there, though not what it was and why I wanted to experience it. So off I went on a one-way charter flight. My female co-passengers put their hair in curlers and dressed up for arrival.  Plane travel still seemed glamorous to us in those days, those early 1960s. We grew up so far away from anywhere and were so limited in our experience of the world.

Always responsible and conscientious, I soon had a job and a place to stay – several different places for a while – until I settled into sharing a house with three South African girls. Through work, through newly found relatives and new friends, life in London slowly offered up new experiences, personal, cultural and political, though the last not in any radical sense. A variety of young people passed through our house for meals or parties, many were ex-South Africans with strong political beliefs. London was a hotbed of anti-apartheid activity at that time, with so many South Africans – exiled or choosing exile – living there. The government’s secret service was also active in keeping an eye on them.

Someone – he was Irish – was introduced to our house and became a friend. He ended up in South Africa and we often wondered if he had been one of the government’s spies. That question was always with us as we looked over our shoulders in those apartheid days. My room-mate, Judy, stuffed envelopes for an anti-apartheid organization run by a fellow ex-Capetonian, but that was about as close as I ever came to actual commitment. We were just liberal in our attitudes and our views. In any event, during those two years abroad, I experienced television for the first time, travelled within Europe and left London to return to South Africa just as Beatlemania was taking over the world.

Why did I go back? Partly because I was tired of the somewhat ‘grotty’ UK existence, partly because my parents wanted me to, and perhaps to compare and contrast and decide where I wanted to end up.  Like my reasons for leaving South Africa in the first place, my reasons for returning were not clear cut. But I returned – not a different person – but certainly one with a broader view of the world. After spending a few days with my parents in our small town, I left for the city to find work and a place to stay. It was hard being back after the freedom of movement London offered. Women did not go out at night on their own in South Africa. It wasn’t a safety issue as much as one of perception. One went out on a date or did not go out.  My friend Pam’s mother would lock Pam in her room on a Saturday night, so that visitors would not know she was home.

As for finding work, I became an editorial researcher for a news magazine. It saw its place as being centrist, bridging the far right “volk and vaderland” and the far left liberal/ communists. It was an interesting place to work, it utilized black reporters and photographers on a freelance basis, it exposed me to world affairs, the small staff felt like family and I had the opportunity to write the occasional article on subjects like the opening of a new resort or the significance of tattooing. I made good friends with members of the staff: Robert the film critic, with whom I went to the movies, sometimes two a night, Harald, a political journalist and  Ronnie, another journalist. I played bridge with Ronnie and his girlfriend regularly. Our fourth companion  at bridge was Paul.

It was a period of great paranoia. There were many detentions, raids.  People disappeared, there were dubious suicides, the government had its spies everywhere and one was unsure of whom to trust. My apartment was burgled one Sunday afternoon. The policeman who came to interview me about it seemed more interested in the books on my shelf than in the incident. Later, in a new apartment, I sensed that some of my things had been disturbed, namely an audio tape, though it was just a personal message from an old boyfriend. I was friendly with a journalist on one of the local newspapers who later became a self-confessed agent for the apartheid government, spying on dissidents and their supporters both in South Africa and in the UK. During my news magazine stint, I took a few weeks off to work as a researcher on a film being made about South Africa for a US public television broadcaster. The filming was quite overt, but all the time we felt we were being watched. The film’s release (it later won a Peabody Award) and my involvement in it caused a flurry of anger in South Africa – as did any criticism – but by then I had left the country.

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8 Responses to “Writings / Creative Non-Fiction: Isme Bennie”

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  1. Terry M-F says:

    Ismé Bennie you write with such polish and simplicity about difficult political times and you make the reader want more. More of the people of that time and your own development away from South Africa. Keep the writing going!

  2. Evan Kaplan says:

    Bennie has done it again. She has the ability to seamlessly stitch together an era of joy & evil, good & brutality, plenty & poverty…White & Black–the age-old addage for opposites–in her calm, yet penetrating fashion. She never succumbs to overstatement. I agree with TM-F: keep that writing flowing!

  3. EJB says:

    As always, Isme makes me feel like I am there with her – I don’t know how she does it but she evokes the period so intimately, I feel I’ve experienced South Africa, too, even though I have never been there. When is the book coming out? lovely as always.

  4. Rose Sonnenberg says:

    Thank you for sharing your experiences and for colouring in the past, both historically and you-personally. Am looking forward to the next chapter!

  5. Deb Bernstein says:

    Ms. Bennie is such a wonderful storyteller. I feel as if I was there with her in time and place.

  6. Jan Lowenthal says:

    With the recent death of Mandela, this is a very timely piece. One that simply tells another perspective of the time. Excellent!.

  7. Tom Howe says:

    You always want more. Isme’s writing reminds me of Hemingway -spare, very descriptive and strong narrative. Like everyone else here, I’d like to read more!

  8. Terence Mbulaheni says:

    As a young South African, it is very interesting and eye-opening to read personal stories about ordinary people and how they managed to live during the apartheid days. This piece makes one understand that not everyone was happy, and that the system didn’t necessarily work for those whom it was “intended” to serve. If anything it made it difficult for everyone live and prosper. Your writing approach is raw, very welcoming to the reader, insightful and VERY well written. I would love to read more from you – and hopefully this will become a full novel someday.

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