Ain’t is Not a Word
I am a product of pretending everything is perfect
My mother
would never let me out the house without waiting for her sweet time
to do her hair and make-up
Every day she’d make the same mistake of
letting herself think that if she ‘looked’ good
she’d feel good
Now I’m part of a cycle where
I’d rather keep a long distance relationship with the ones I love the most
‘cause I know what it’s to want to runaway every time somebody gets too close to home
and Home
Well, that’s just another number on my MY5 Favourites phone plan
I’m scared for my ma’s well-being
She’s not the balance beam I want her to be instead she’s a teeter totter of emotions
She doesn’t take her medicine
She doesn’t like to listen
“The doctors don’t know shit”
I confess,
My mommy still spoon feeds me
Disaster, you’d call it
Literature, I’d argue
She gives me every reason to write
She is the one who gave me life
and anytime I have trouble sleeping I blame it on the fact that she gave birth to me at night
Alone
She’s the only one who didn’t just dig a hole and bury me in the back of her mind
the same way my biological father did the day that he found out that one day I’d be alive…
Hey Ma,
You must be the only one who knows how much I love the moon!
We’ve seen so much darkness together
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